Guilty as charged ;p ;p

ok, i was thinking of doing a post that hasnt been done by anyone EVER!  & i thought of sth! 😀 Er  no, it is not about LGBT prevalence incidence in pakistan parliament,, that topic is still up for grabs 😉 .not that i am insinuating anything..but i digress..SO here is my one in the whole universe kind of post 😉

ta da!!   a collection of my comments from express tribune!!  😆  hehehe..save your rotten eggs for more deserving candidates..i am  just having some fun..or to be exact, i am availing the double jeopardy clause ; i am already accused of being a narcissist so i thought a lil show of narcissism wont hurt anyone 😀

1.  in response to kamran akmal’s declaration  7 years of cricket left in me,   i produced this gem

“ sorry dude but your idea of cricket; dropping ball from your (gloved) hands, is not exactly popular with the nation (and selectors, hopefully)i would recommend a career change..how about opening a resturant or launching a boutique?

hehe, look at the number of likes (or recommendations whatever) *bows*

2. after reading an umpteenth bon(n)ga article about Bonn conference, tittled Bon(n)fire of the vanities, i decided to put my foot down by raising my voice against this cheesy wordplay

 “the columnists have gone bon(n)kers about Bonn conference…or at least about its use in puns ;p”

some taste of one’s own medicine, eh? 😛

3. Market attack: Donkey cart bombing kills 6 in Khyber Agency   blame it on compassion fatigue or whatever but this news instead of alarming me, merely tickled  my funny bone

so the animals have run out of human volunteers & are opting for internal recruitment…tch tch

PS: sorry dead donkey,,just to sound witty i grouped u with those who r far beneath u in stature

4. on a blog  (by a lieutenant) about dutying on eid & losing comrades but still getting negative media publicity. (AND  wait for it;  receiving limited budget which makes high-tech equipment unaffordable)

 i understand your pain(read complaint), thnx to my affiliation with Police, where we dont even enjoy even half of the respect accorded to Army…

we too spend our holidays on duty..we too lose our comrades to enemy….
but we dont complain about media ‘treatment’ we get…coz greater scrutiny translates into greater accountability..which ultimately leads to improvement in performance…a win-win for all parties concerned 🙂

so dear comrade-in-arms, we love you..trust me, we do…
but if u think emotional attachment to our armed forces should amount to blind support of every single adventure launched by army, you are sadly mistaken..

Pakistan zindabad
Pakistan Army Paindabad

hehe..some sugar-coated poison technique of communication, huh?

5. so you must have heard about the news doing the rounds these days that Pakistan’s nuclear weapons are vulnerable to theft blah blah,..but this report went further and accused pakistan of  “transporting the nuclear parts in armored, well-defended convoys, the atomic bombs “capable of destroying entire cities are transported in delivery vans on congested and dangerous roads,”..naturally i couldnt keep quite

yeah, i saw a suspicious van yesterday, black windows, masked men with 3 silver containers roaming about the city..and when they came near me, my geiger counter started beeping…
shudders

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next i saw them the van had a flat tire & it had bumped into another vehicle on the “congested road”, suddenly infinitesimally small yellowish-green vapours began leaking—- 

what?? i thought it was a dumb story contest..i won, right?

i dont think i have ever scored higher hits 😀  *curtseys*

6. One fine day Hamid Karzai, our brotherly neighbour, got up and announced to a stunned world that Afghanistan would support  Pakistan if it was attacked by either the US or India…naturally, we laughed ourselves stupid over this turn of events..part of hilarity was rahman-malikesque credibility of karzai and rest of it was the mere idea of having a bunch of boy scouts supplementing our far superior armed forces…anyway, true to his form, the guy backtracked 😀 hehe..obviously, even more hilarity ensued

hehe..he prolly read all our comments on express tribune and thought “wth! these guys think they can do without my support.so be it then!”

guys! i think we have just shot ourselves in the foot ;p
NOT

😆

7.  A pir allegedly raped a teenage girl to cure her of repeated migraines & told her that if she told anyone then he would release the jinn’s in his power on her..poor girl conceived & her parents understandably contacted police..but according to pir’s apprentice  Kashif Boota. “The girl probably had an affair and got her self pregnant” :@

 shame on the pir apologists!! someone please do a DNA paternity test on the unborn kid, and then try these ppl (who are accusing the girl of an affair) under the hudood law..the qazaf offence; False accusation of zina.
i guess fear of pir’s jins is making them lie, coward losers..

seriously, the ones who falsely accuse others of wrongdoing should not be allowed to go scot free…

8. in another news three girls drowned to death..and the very next day,(when prolly the investigation wasnt even launched)  the media published story insinuating the involvement of girls father..how sick is that!

 not a shred of evidence against him, but the poor father has been condemned already..by the neighbour, by the media, by… sighhhh

9. who hasnt witnessed a cyber war of comments among indian & pakistani commenters..some trillion you tube videos have already been marred forever by the trash exchange by both sides..personally i try to inject a sense of sanity whenever i come across such a mess of patriotism & testosterone.

this blogpost was about anna hazare, the meek looking indian darling, who announced that he will once again take part in the war against Pakistan if required (apparently he used to be a soldier & even participated in some war against pakistan where he received a bullet in his forehead but still survived miraculously)..now the sensitive author was really disturbed by this announcement…so naturally i had to placate him 😉

yr he was just being patriotic…natural enough sentiments 🙂
i am sure u would volunteer for pakistani forces, if there is war with india…i know i will 🙂
so lets not vilify the old man..lets just pray that next time our marksmen take a better aim ;p ;p
lol

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😀 not bad, right?

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