daikho daikho kon aya…shair aya, shair aya ;p

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lol..2 things usually happen when my exams are just around the corner…#1, i start praying with a gusto thats missing from my normal (sans exams) prayers(yeah, hypocrisy n chaploosy at its best)..#2, my focus on studies starts crumbling (hence heightened activity on blog & increased inactivity in bed (er as in snoozefest)..

following post is also a product of my wandering concentration…my typically lame urdu ashaar! 😀

they are seriously SO lame, they are a class apart in lameness!!..honestly,if you mix my shiari with other shairi (of same class), mine would stand out like a sore thumb..i wont even have to bother about the takhalus anymore, my signature lamesness would suffice!  er then why do you sound like you are bragging about it?, i hear you think…simple: modesty was never really my strong suit..i have bragged too often to notice when i really shouldnt brag..oh did i mention 2 of the 5 IGs are my dad’s best buddies?  *finally noticing the murderous expressions*

ok ok, dont die of envy..not when my ashaars can easily offer a pretty painless alternative

her ek hath main pathar hai
her zuban per gali
koi kasta hai taanay
koi peet’ta hai taali
humari jug hansayi pe hansne walo
humain parsayi ka dawa he kub tha

 ~
~
~
hussn khuda ne dia gharoor tum karte ho?
apne aur humaray pe kyun itna zulm krte ho?
yun beyitani se guzarte ho jaisay hum juz-e-dewar hon
ghalban humari shakal mizaj pe garan guzarti hai
jin se tarshay ho tum humain unhi hathon ne tarasha hai
maana k hum ziada sandali o marmarri na hain
per variety bhi kisi cheez ka naam hota hai ;p
~
😆
~
us ne hum se ishq kia he kub tha
usay faqt humaray qad 0 qamat se piyar tha
kaash hum ne ye surat sarapa paya na hota
khuda ne yun humari parsayi ko aazmaya na hota
~
ok, the last two qataats (or whatever the hell they are) offer two really divergent claims about the looks of the shaayr..just to be clear, the second one is relatively closer to the reality 😉
~
~
mohabbat ka dawa tu kartay hain log
nibha nai patay aksar
mitani ki koshish tu kartay hain dil se
bhula nai patay yaksir
~
wah wah..
bhayi waqayi wah
:mrgreen:
PS: I found a really cute blogger couple!!!!!  Furree Kat and Russian bear…there are 17 sth cute kids, who make an assome couple! 😉  i wish them all the happiness imaginable…read this post if you wanna know them
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Guilty as charged ;p ;p

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ok, i was thinking of doing a post that hasnt been done by anyone EVER!  & i thought of sth! 😀 Er  no, it is not about LGBT prevalence incidence in pakistan parliament,, that topic is still up for grabs 😉 .not that i am insinuating anything..but i digress..SO here is my one in the whole universe kind of post 😉

ta da!!   a collection of my comments from express tribune!! :mrgreen:  😆  hehehe..save your rotten eggs for more deserving candidates..i am  just having some fun..or to be exact, i am availing the double jeopardy clause ; i am already accused of being a narcissist so i thought a lil show of narcissism wont hurt anyone 😀

1.  in response to kamran akmal’s declaration  7 years of cricket left in me,   i produced this gem

 sorry dude but your idea of cricket; dropping ball from your (gloved) hands, is not exactly popular with the nation (and selectors, hopefully)i would recommend a career change..how about opening a resturant or launching a boutique?

hehe, look at the number of likes (or recommendations whatever) *bows*

2. after reading an umpteenth bon(n)ga article about Bonn conference, tittled Bon(n)fire of the vanities, i decided to put my foot down by raising my voice against this cheesy wordplay

 “the columnists have gone bon(n)kers about Bonn conference…or at least about its use in puns ;p”

some taste of one’s own medicine, eh? 😛

3. Market attack: Donkey cart bombing kills 6 in Khyber Agency   blame it on compassion fatigue or whatever but this news instead of alarming me, merely tickled  my funny bone

so the animals have run out of human volunteers & are opting for internal recruitment…tch tch

PS: sorry dead donkey,,just to sound witty i grouped u with those who r far beneath u in stature

4. on a blog  (by a lieutenant) about dutying on eid & losing comrades but still getting negative media publicity. (AND  wait for it;  receiving limited budget which makes high-tech equipment unaffordable)

 i understand your pain(read complaint), thnx to my affiliation with Police, where we dont even enjoy even half of the respect accorded to Army…

we too spend our holidays on duty..we too lose our comrades to enemy….
but we dont complain about media ‘treatment’ we get…coz greater scrutiny translates into greater accountability..which ultimately leads to improvement in performance…a win-win for all parties concerned 🙂

so dear comrade-in-arms, we love you..trust me, we do…
but if u think emotional attachment to our armed forces should amount to blind support of every single adventure launched by army, you are sadly mistaken..

Pakistan zindabad
Pakistan Army Paindabad

hehe..some sugar-coated poison technique of communication, huh?

5. so you must have heard about the news doing the rounds these days that Pakistan’s nuclear weapons are vulnerable to theft blah blah,..but this report went further and accused pakistan of  “transporting the nuclear parts in armored, well-defended convoys, the atomic bombs “capable of destroying entire cities are transported in delivery vans on congested and dangerous roads,”..naturally i couldnt keep quite

yeah, i saw a suspicious van yesterday, black windows, masked men with 3 silver containers roaming about the city..and when they came near me, my geiger counter started beeping…
shudders

next i saw them the van had a flat tire & it had bumped into another vehicle on the “congested road”, suddenly infinitesimally small yellowish-green vapours began leaking—- 

what?? i thought it was a dumb story contest..i won, right?

i dont think i have ever scored higher hits 😀  *curtseys*

6. One fine day Hamid Karzai, our brotherly neighbour, got up and announced to a stunned world that Afghanistan would support  Pakistan if it was attacked by either the US or India…naturally, we laughed ourselves stupid over this turn of events..part of hilarity was rahman-malikesque credibility of karzai and rest of it was the mere idea of having a bunch of boy scouts supplementing our far superior armed forces…anyway, true to his form, the guy backtracked 😀 hehe..obviously, even more hilarity ensued

hehe..he prolly read all our comments on express tribune and thought “wth! these guys think they can do without my support.so be it then!”

guys! i think we have just shot ourselves in the foot ;p
NOT

😆

7.  A pir allegedly raped a teenage girl to cure her of repeated migraines & told her that if she told anyone then he would release the jinn’s in his power on her..poor girl conceived & her parents understandably contacted police..but according to pir’s apprentice  Kashif Boota. “The girl probably had an affair and got her self pregnant” :@

 shame on the pir apologists!! someone please do a DNA paternity test on the unborn kid, and then try these ppl (who are accusing the girl of an affair) under the hudood law..the qazaf offence; False accusation of zina.
i guess fear of pir’s jins is making them lie, coward losers..

seriously, the ones who falsely accuse others of wrongdoing should not be allowed to go scot free…

8. in another news three girls drowned to death..and the very next day,(when prolly the investigation wasnt even launched)  the media published story insinuating the involvement of girls father..how sick is that!

 not a shred of evidence against him, but the poor father has been condemned already..by the neighbour, by the media, by… sighhhh

9. who hasnt witnessed a cyber war of comments among indian & pakistani commenters..some trillion you tube videos have already been marred forever by the trash exchange by both sides..personally i try to inject a sense of sanity whenever i come across such a mess of patriotism & testosterone.
this blogpost was about anna hazare, the meek looking indian darling, who announced that he will once again take part in the war against Pakistan if required (apparently he used to be a soldier & even participated in some war against pakistan where he received a bullet in his forehead but still survived miraculously)..now the sensitive author was really disturbed by this announcement…so naturally i had to placate him 😉
😀 not bad, right?

awww factor

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kids are  by cute by definition…i have never seen a less than cute baby in my life…a baby video a day makes my day..here are some of my most favourite ones

Omg..Her hair!.look at her hair

hehe..the fact they look exactly alike is prolly funnier than their shararat.

believe it or not, this masterpiece of a baby,is a boy!! he is so perfect he looks like a toy doll..awwww

second lease

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wow..had to google “secondlease.wordpress” to land on my own blog! and let me say what a prescient domain name (er or whatever its called. IP shy pee address, m making it worse? oops 😛 )

for second lease it is, friends…my dad asked me to take the exam again, & i am doing just that 🙂   yeah, i always was a laaton-kay-bhoot variety, wasnt i? 😀

and yes, i m finally done crying..took a long time, this time..but woooooh, m stable 🙂

though words like “mehnat”, “future”,”dua,” “expectations”,”csa”,”taqdeer”can still kinda trigger some lacrimal activity…hehe..jk!  😛

missed all of u so much, but then most of u were missing too..sawj, safi, sophi,specs,farooq,hira 😦 ..stayed in touch with leena on fb, before deleting my account (er i hope u dnt notice this part, postman 😉 )  postman and mahwish r still active, fortunately…so i lurked there kbhi kbhi 🙂  oh mah, read your posts on express tribune, wow girl! you are going places! 😛 (in every sense of the expression 🙂 )

as for me, well…my dhakka start prep is back on…its funny how the schadenfreude-ly people are sticking to me again “AwwWW(nnn*nasal*)..pala baby, you are going to do better this time..After all you now know what you r (not) supposed to do”..er ohkk..you guys dont get it do you..well, i might b experienced a bit..am still on the negative side of the balance…the confidence i had the last time has been shattered to bits. although i did manage to patch it back up with cellotape, uhu and good ol’ samad bond borrowed from dear friends,cooperative family & my own dhitayi, its still far from the original thing…..so assuming that after such a high profile failure, i’ll somehow jump back into the fray with confidence and morale intact, is sorta..asking a lot…m not exactly reincarnation of Robert Bruce!!  (the spider (gazing) man)

khair,

boht kuch saha hai, yeh bhi seh he lain gay hum

hahaha..see? at least my lame poetic streak escaped unscathed…..chalo, bhagtay chor ki juraab he sahi 😉 yeah, i ammended it,so?

Alienated

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in a flick, things would have turned out quite differently…..

a girl, troubled by her male chauvinist social circle, sets out to prove that daughters are no less than sons..she buys loads of  books with her pocket money while her friends invest in designer lawn…she loses most of her eyesight studying while others experiment with kohl and neon eyeshades….she remains engaged in pursuit of her dreams while her friends get married one after another until she alone remains.. to become an officer like her dad.

finally she appears in the much dreaded CSS exam..

in a flick,  her result day would have been celebrated like a festival…mother hugging her & distributing sweets & generous donations…father would have told her that she was his pride & twinkle…sisters would have bragged about her to their friends…proposals that had slowed down in frequency would have increased overnight…she would have become a source of envy even for her happily married friends with cute chubby kids..

but life is not a flick..

i stood 196th in pakistan…

seats distribution follow quota system which means i am not competing with every pakistani just the punjabis…..but even there, i rank 133rd……in punjabi females i rank 31st (overall 38th female) which means a slight chance of allocation on women quota remains…but what change will i bring through allocation in postal group?  change the colour of the envelopes or the size of the stamps? ;p

*sigh*

i didnt cry at first…i was mentally prepared for this…but then i saw the moist eyes of my mother who has always considered me the brightest of her kids…and my tear ducts just about ruptured.

but it is not the result that has shattered me with a force of thousand hammers…its the fact that i prayed for a good result and that too in the first attempt since i was TEN!!!!!!! For fourteen years whenever i prayed, i prayed “Allah mian, main pehli dafa main css clear kar jaon aur meri allocation ho jaye” it was prayer number 3 on my standard prayer list……i admit i am a flawed human being and even more flawed muslim, so it makes sense that He doesnt like me and wouldnt answer my prayers..but that was not the case 14 years ago..i was an innocent enough kid..begging to the One…..

but as they say and everyone is saying yet again “koi maslehat ho ge, koi behtari ho ge”..

Your 2010 year in blogging (by wordpress)

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So how did it go for you guys?? 😀 …i read this and laughed so bad, that i think my intestines are intertwined again.. thought i should share the joke

Attractions in 2010

Some of your most popular posts were written before 2010. Your writing has staying power! Consider writing about those topics again.

lol

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

wow?  er how??

seriously, if my blog reads “wow” then there is something wrong with this meter..

Pschological test

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1. if something bad happens to me, i get over it quite soon

a. true ……………..b) ? ………..c) false

2. Sometimes i get frustrated with ppl too quickly

a.true……………b) ?…………c) false

3.i let little things upset me more than they should

a.often…..b)?…….c) rarely

false answers!..all of them!!..but i am still going to repeat all these lies in my psychological tests next week…because i dont want to be declared unfit/unsuitable for the job..because if i tell those psychologists how bloody sensitive i am, they wont appreciate my honesty, no,No,no,they would just penalize my softness!..they would ignore my love for my country, my adaptability, and all other strengths, and would discard me bcoz i appear emotional and thus unsuitable…ha! they deserve to be lied to!!

or do they? am i doing the right thing? if i am lying at the very onset, does it not indicate that i am a lying, cheating bureaucrat in the making??? isnt my country already self-sufficient when it comes to such scums?

*sigh* this battle of the conscience is driving me crazy….i hope my sanity is the only casualty..

Pray for Pakistan..

Ten Hut! Officer on deck!

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😀 well an officer-in-the-making anyway 😉

yup, i cleared the written part of ABC EXAM!!!!!!!! 😛 😀

tomorrow my name and roll number will appear in newspapers all over Pakistan (most prolly)..IMAGINE THAT!! .ME!!!.i still can’t walk straight, i am clumsy like a new waitress, i use harry potter references in my posts, i write poems that even a 3rd grader would throw in a bin, i? I? I cleared the exam??????

(of course ,you can always dispute the credibility of the exam as a gauge of intelligence!! or of anything, for that matter)

i have already responded to over 50 calls at least…funny how some people start giving you importance all of a sudden, like you are some brilliant artwork hanging on an obscure part of the wall,,while previously you were considered more of a lizard on the same wall..err…Hahh…though i am a bit worried they might try jinxing me you know…dark magic or sth…the jealous hags :/

khair, Allah bachanay wala hai…(or pass karanay wala bhi)

(i want to share my roll number but i deem it prudent to share it once i am done with the interview..within 2-3 months)

AND

thank you guys for being there for me 🙂 ….trust me, most of you were of great emotional help to me even if lacking in the intellectual dept….so thank you all but special thanks to Farooq,  Hira, Leena,Mahvish, Postman, Safi, Sawjilius, Sophi & Specs….you guys rock!! 😀